Kobe Bryant's recent buzzer beater against Denver came as no surprise to those who know the 6'8 Lakers shooting guard as someone who loves to rape people from Colorado. The pump fake he threw Jon Barry was nothing new in Kobe's arsenal; watch LAL game tapes closely and you'll realize it's something Kobe does in every situation where he has the ball with the seconds ticking down. Additionally, it's something he does in every situation where he's sodomizing a dance team member. Pump (his penis), fake (her consent), and shoot (his load). Victory! Respect the cock, rape the defender.

There's no doubt that Kobe is as clutch as they come, and he likes a tight clutch on his sausage when he comes. Whether he's tossing up threes or tossing salads, Bryant must always be considered a serious threat by those in the know. He's probably the last man a potential victim wants to see with the ball (or balls) in his hands and the game (or a girl's life) on the line. He might win the MVP award one day, especially if those letters stand for Most Vicious Penis.