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Dissecting the NBA schedule
Ryne Nelson
08 August 2005
I’ve come to see how corny the NBA can be at times. Quoting directly from the National Basketball Association’s website:
“While we want you to watch every NBA in game at the arena or on that magical device we call a television, we've selected some that should pique everyone's interest.”
So, if you don’t already know, the NBA debuted its 2005-’06 season schedule today. And along with every new schedule is a list of “can’t miss games” broadcasted straight through that magical device.
So instead of me making a list of important games just like everyone else, I’m going to dissect someone else’s…And tell you exactly why those games might (and probably will) won’t live up to all the hype.
And what better a Top Games list to pick apart than the mother of all basketball authority herself, the NBA’s?!
Yeah, you heard it. To ensure at least a semi-objective viewpoint, I’ll state the NBA’s pitch for all 12 highlighted games and tell you why they will or won’t score above par (aka. The Full Nelson). Then, I’ll rank the level of BS-ing on the NBA’s part to promote its schedule on a scale of 0 to 10 – 0 being totally legit hype, 10 being totally last episode Seinfeld.
This is going to be as fun as eating some buttered noodles! Here we go:
1. Tuesday, Nov. 1: Opening Night Doubleheader on TNT
Denver at San Antonio (8 p.m. ET) and Dallas at Phoenix (10:30 p.m. ET)
NBA’s rationale: High-powered Mavericks and Suns offenses in Game 1 – a Western Conference Semifinals rematch. Game 2, Commissioner David Stern will hand the Spurs their championship rings.
The Full Nelson: Three of these teams are done. Face it! If they ever had any amount of excitement in their style of play, it was last year (or never in the Spurs’ case). Denver will keep improving with George Karl at the helm and will upset the Spurs.
Nelson’s BS detector: 5
2. Thursday, Nov. 3: Indiana at Miami (8 p.m. ET, TNT)
NBA’S rationale: Two Eastern powerhouses meet in a potential “East Finals preview.”
The Full Nelson: Man, while I’m definitely going to recommend this game, I’m not calling this an Eastern Conference Finals preview. At least not on the third day of action.
Nelson’s BS detector: 3
3. Thursday, Nov. 3: Phoenix at L.A. Lakers (10:30 p.m. ET, TNT)
NBA’s rationale: Phil Jackson makes his first return to the sidelines of the Staples Center since the 2004 Finals.
The Full Nelson: To put this game on TNT is blowing it way out of proportion. But what can you do? It’s the Laker Effect. And TNT claims to know its drama. Although I don’t buy the sell on Phil Jax’s first game back at Staples, I DO buy that it will be a great game. The Lakers always step it up when on national TV and especially early on in the year. I’m calling this one early: Kobe Bryant will score at least 50 points in this game.
Nelson’s BS detector: 4
4. Saturday, Nov. 19: Phoenix at San Antonio (8:30 p.m. ET, NBA TV)
NBA’s rationale: 2005 Western Conference Finals rematch.
The Full Nelson: Enough already. If anyone watched this series last season, it was like watching a squirrel trying to swim. Both teams played outside their comfort zones trying to stymie a very different gameplan. The same will hold true this season.
Nelson’s BS detector: 8
5. Tuesday, Nov. 29: L.A. Lakers at San Antonio (8:30 p.m. ET, NBA TV)
NBA’s rationale: Jackson's “first foray of the season into the defending champs' house.” Last time Phil was in the Alamo, Derek Fisher nailed a turnaround jumper with 0.4 seconds left to beat the Spurs in the 2004 Western semis.
The Full Nelson: Where’s Derek Fisher? Where’s Shaq? Can we please forget about something that happened when Darko was sitting just because he was young?
Nelson’s BS detector: 6
6. Friday, Dec. 2: New York at Detroit (8 p.m. ET, ESPN)
NBA’s rationale: Larry Brown makes his first return to the city he guided to two straight NBA Finals appearances.
The Full Nelson: I really love it when they try to sell you on the coaches. First it’s Phil Jackson returning to Staples. Now, it’s Larry Brown returning to the Palace. But I can’t lie. What was the first thing I looked for when I saw the new schedule? This game. I’m watchin’ it.
Nelson’s BS detector: 1
7. Saturday, Dec. 3: Orlando at Milwaukee (7:30 p.m. ET)
NBA rationale: The last two top overall Draft picks go head to head for the first time.
The Full Nelson: Ha! My prediction: Cato will be guarding Bogut the entire game and Howard gets in early foul trouble in a Milwaukee rout.
Nelson’s BS detector: 10
8. Sunday, Dec. 25: Christmas Doubleheader on ABC
San Antonio at Detroit (12:30 p.m.) and L.A. Lakers at Miami (3 p.m. ET)
NBA rationale: Duh!
The Full Nelson: Christmas: Always the best day of my year.
Nelson’s BS detector: 0
9. Monday, Jan. 30: Portland at Seattle (10 p.m. ET)
NBA’S rationale: "Mr. Sonic" makes his return to the only NBA city he's ever called home.
The Full Nelson: Once again they pull out the old coach-coming-back crap. Although, I’d have to admit, I’d be interested in the crowd’s reception to McMillan. Will it be more Apollo 13 or Million Dollar Baby?
Nelson’s BS detector: 7
10. Thursday, Feb. 23: Indiana at Detroit (8 p.m. ET, TNT)
NBA’s rationale: Artest back at the Palace.
The Full Nelson: Nineteen days earlier the two teams will meet for the first time with Artest back in the lineup. This game will probably be as benign as a petting zoo. Nothing besides good basketball is going to happen…and Detroit fans will still find a way to get drunk.
Nelson’s BS detector: 8
11. Wednesday, Mar. 1: Miami at Boston (7:30 p.m. ET)
NBA’s rationale: Antoine Walker is back the Fleet Center after leaving the Celtics for the second time.
The Full Nelson: Has Antoine Walker never played in Boston wearing a different uniform before? C’mon. This game is going to be a Miami blowout.
Nelson’s BS detector: 10
12. Tuesday, Mar. 28: Atlanta at Charlotte (7:30 p.m. ET)
NBA’s rationale: Marvin Williams gets back on the court with his North Carolina teammates Sean May and Ray Felton.
The Full Nelson: While this game is going to look more like a college game than a professional one, this is right down my alley. With today’s player movement, you can only root for players. Teams just don’t last.
Nelson’s BS detector: 3
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