Golf Destination Club

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by ssigman

i hope a revolving wave of hari krishnas and jehovah witnesses knock on your door for the next week bil....driving away new posters equals negative rep points

Short story on door-to-door purveyors of religion.

Back about 1983 I was stationed at an Air Force base in Montana(Malmstrom AFB). Home of everyones favorite ICBM, the Minuteman III. I met a guy from Arizona and we decided to heck with barracks life and rented a big two-bedroom house in Great Falls.

Gary was a gun nut, complete and total. He had a class III firearms dealer license and was really into explosives and machine guns. The man posessed an arsenal and could have armed a company of grunts.

He liked to watch cowboy movies(especially John Wayne and Clint Eastwood). When he watched these movies he would wear a cowboy hat, smoke a thin cigar, and wear his tied down Colt .45 Peacemaker. The man was a legitimate quick-draw guy and could actually hit what he was aiming at. When Clint or the the Duke would shoot up the bad guys, gary would shoot to, using "hollywood" blanks. These blanks did not use paper wadding, they were all plastic and powder and expelled nothing from the barrel but noise, gas, and smoke. YOu couldn't hurt anyone with them unless you put the barrel right up to them. From three or four feet away you really couldn't hurt anyone but you sure could scare the hell out of them.

Well sure enough one day the Jehovah's or Mormons were in the neighborhood while Gary was watching an Eastwood flick. He saw them through the window standing on the front porch ringing the bell. He stepped to the door, flung it open, drew his pistol and fired all six shots at these two unsuspecting young guys. They almost fell over each other tuning around and running down the walkway to the street. All assholes and elbows. Gary came back in and was laughing so hard he was crying! "I think one of them pissed his pants" was all he could say as he laughed.

"Great you jackass" I told him, "now we'll be seeing the cops here". Neither the local PD or the Sheriff's department eved showed. Needless to say over the next two years we never had any more missionaries coming by to save us.

Oh and ssigs, I'll take the negative points on the spammers. If I could give them the "hollywood" blank treatment I would.

[Rusty27]

Where there's pretzels,there's beer.

[JGAC]

thats a hilarious story.

A yeeeehawww would have added to it.

[BtownJay]

LMAO Bil. Your neighbors were cool with him just shooting blanks all the time?

Come on Eli, you know i don't use logic when shit comes out of my mouth (or fingers in this case).

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by BtownJay

LMAO Bil. Your neighbors were cool with him just shooting blanks all the time?

Come on Eli, you know i don't use logic when shit comes out of my mouth (or fingers in this case).

We never got any complaints. The house was on a full lot, 1920's construction, very solid so not a lot of sound went out. he didn't do it all of the time, we worked a very full schedule and it wasn't unusual for the house to be empty for days.

Besides, most of the neighbors kind of ignored us, we were just military guys who were often seen bringing lots of guns in and out of the house.

[JGAC]

Bill what branch were you in?

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by JGAC

Bill what branch were you in?

Two branches. Began in the Air Force in 1978 as a Security Specialist, basically an AF grunt. While in the AF I got to attend some Army schools. After my 4 years were up I switched to the Army. Stayed Army until 1991 when I returned to the civilian world.

[JGAC]

Stayed in the states the whole time?

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by JGAC

Stayed in the states the whole time?

Noooooo! AF assignments wre Japan with signifigant time in the Phillipines, Thailand, & Korea and then Montana. There were periods of training in Texas, Washington State & Georgia.

Army time was in Japan again, and then Europe. I was posted around Wurtzburg in Germany but my job involved travelling all around wherever they decided I should go. Spent time in England,France, Belguim, Spain, Italy & Greece. Got real familiar with West Berlin.

Did some Gaza strip time, saw a bit of a little place called Grenada, and had a nice little visit to Panama.

[JGAC]

Well travelled I see in those years spent in the service.

[Rusty27]

Bil,you forgot all those years in Leavenworth

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by Rusty17