Open Tab at the Shanty!

[Rusty27]

Originally Posted by BaldBil

The wheels insure the cannon points in the right direction.

And the Viagra does the actual pointing.

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by Rusty27

And the Viagra does the actual pointing.

Unnecessary equivocation #27 of the visiting team! Loss of down and replay the post.

[BtownBeers]

Bil's gonna rip Rustys man jewels off and hang them above the bar.

[ssigman]

rusty has a point..bil needs help in that area...the vixen kristen needs satisfaction

[BaldBil]

Yes gentlemen, the tab is still open.

Here is a little story of foolishness. Every word is a re-telling of recent actual events here in the in our little city.

Two weeks ago the Lobster Shanty received a letter from the Salem Licensing Board asking them to appear for their monthly meeting the following Monday evening. This request was made because of an "alleged" violation of the Article 138 of the State Liquor Code. No details were provided as to the violation.

On Monday, the 8th of September the Shanty appeared as requested before the board. Lee and Diane, the owners were present, as was their attorney as an interested observer. Another very interested observer was me.

It took a while to work through the agenda. There were other establishments that serve alcohol, some used car dealers, representatives of Dunkin Donuts there to work some issues for a new place and of course a few fortune tellers and halloween vendors looking to set up shop in October. The Shanty's turn came up and Lee took his place on the hot seat. The Chairman asked if Lee had any idea why they asked him to be present at the meeting. Lee of course said, " I only know that you asked me to be here about an "alleged" liquor violation". "That is exactly right", replied the Chairman; "and from here I will turn this over to our lead investigator". The lead investigator then leaned forward in hais chair in a very competent and authoritative manner. His look was one of studied seriousness. "We received information from another party that the Lobster Shanty was serving beer in a can", declaimed the lead investigator. "After receiving this tip I began an investigation that revealed that the Lobster Shanty was in fact serving beer in a can. I observed them doing so although I did not observe long enough to actually see a customer drink from the aformentioned cans". To this Lee replied,"Yes, we serve beer in a can, is that a problem?" The lead investigator leaned further forward in his chair and placed his hands together under his his chin befor saying, "Well of course it's a problem, serving beer in a can in a licensed establisment is againt the law, specifically article 138 of the State Liquor Code." He then went on to infer that the Lobster Shanty was procuring it's cans of beer illegally by not going through the distributor as required by law. He said this very carefully so as not to accuse directly something his very thorough investigation had not confirmed. "You see", said the lead investigator, "it is illegal also for distributors to deliver beers in a can to licensed purveors of alcohol." At this point Lee offered to provide invoices from his alcohol distributors going back as far as twenty years. In an interesting moment the lead investigator slowly leaned back in his chair, blinked a few times and said, "if that is true then the distributors are also guilty of breaking the law and will also need to be sanctioned". After a little give and take amongst the board members during which the lead investigator leaned even further back in his chair and put his hand behind his head he stated that "he was pretty sure it was against the law." The Chairman then said that "since we seem to think that this is a violation we will have to issue a warning here and a suspension, but we will suspend the suspension pending further discussion and any future issus that may arise. We will also give you forty-eight hours to dissolve any inventory of cans you may have". Lee then did what any sensible business owner would do which is say nothing until you can consult with your lawyer.

I reacted a little bit differently by standing up and asking for permission to speak. "the Shanty has been serving beer in a can for twenty-seven years:" I began. "I managed the place for three of those years and both order and accepted delivery of can from the distributors. Doing so is not against the law. You, the members of this board have either misunderstood, misread or never actually seen the pertinent article. I also am amazed that your investigator who has been to the Shanty numerous times over years has never seen a can of beer there before this." At this point I was politely instructed to sit down and shut the fuck up.

To further confuse the issue the boards lead investigator advised that the Shanty was the only establishment in Salem serving beer in a can.

The next day the Shanty's attorney contacted the Alcohol Beverages Control Commission (ABCC). Two seperate sources within that organization had a good laugh before advising the Article 138 said no such thing and never had. We put together a team and visited every establishment in Salem and found 13 others that were bold enough to serve beer in a can. A letter was prepared and delivered to the Licensing Board advising them of thses facts and requesting a meeting at the earliest possible date in order to amicabilly resolve the situation.

It took a just about a week to get a response. Yesterday the city solictor advised the Shanty that they could resume selling beer in a can. An apology was offered because the lead investigator failed to properly research the applicable article.

[Rusty27]

Tax dollars at work. Unreal.

[whourdaddy]

Wow, unreal.

[BtownJay]

LMAO!!! I'm sorry that was such a pain in the ass Bil, but i can't help but to laugh.

"We THINK its a violation" <---- WTF!!! Well, since you THINK so, case closed.

[BtownBeers]

Wow...oh that gave me a good laugh, what a piece of shit. Sounds like a personal grudge of sorts...either way its pathetic...Bil did you rough up this "lead investigator" one night when he got drunkenly loud and disorderly at the Shanty (drinking out of a bottle of course)?

[BaldBil]

The "lead investigator" is an actual Lieutenant in the Police Department. I was only dumb enough to get physical with an off-duty officer once about fifteen years ago. That led to two years of harrassment that eventually meant leaving New Hampshire before I ended up shot dead.

My next tattoo wil say "Born to Drink Beer From a can."