Open Tab at the Shanty!

[BaldBil]

Originally Posted by Rusty27

Whats the capacity of the Shanty. It looks like a small place.

The Shanty seats 45 indoors and 95 outdoors when the patio is open.

[BaldBil]

This morning I was roused from sweet slumber by the trilling of my Motorola cell phone. I had slept well but could have used another hour or so in the sack. Reaching for the phone I was assuming it was the Y calling with one issue or another. It wasn't. The call was from Instant Alarm. Now they do in fact supply the alarm system for the Y, but they also provide the same service for the Shanty. So at 6:01am it was out of the rack and out the door to investigate what set off the dining room motion detector. The dispatcher assured me that the Police were also on the way, but I knew that was baloney. They will only respond right away when the actual alarm is whooping it up. Down the hill in the rain I went. It only takes about three or minutes to get there from here. As I was arriving I saw one of the Police cruisers glide by and I waved hoping they would stop. No such luck.

The doors were all locked and didn't look like they had been messed with. All of the windows were in one piece and locked. I waited a few minutes to see if I saw any movement in there and to give the police a few more minutes to get there. Well, nothing was moving that I could see and the Police must have had other more pressing business. Out came the keys. As I went in I thought I heard some shuffling sounds but they were very faint. I went straight to the alarm, disabled it and hit the bar lights. These lights iluminate the dining room and bar enough to see all you need to see. Nothing looked awry as I walked around. I went back behind the bar, all the liquor was where it should be and the register was undisturbed. Into the kitchen I went. Turning on the lights I immedietley saw that some things were on the floor that should not have been; some cleaning supplies and a couple of pans. There was no one in there, so I went back out to the bar area and stopped to give a little thought to the situation. We ocassionaly get mice, all restaurants do, but they are not big enough to knock over detergent containers. Suddenly the urge to drain the bladder hit me so into the bathroom I went.

There was suddely a sound from the dining room, it sounded like something hitting the floor. Tucking the essentials back into their proper storage position I went out and saw, right there on the corner dining room table with it's back to me, acting like I wasn't even there, not caring that I was there and holding a salt shaker to it's pink little lips, bold as day......daring me to do something.......calling me out, was...........a fucking.........................possum.

Now what. We had had a possum problem about four years back. There had been a family of them living in the alley out back for years. We hadn't seen any around for awhile though, we thoughgt they were gone. I had eliminated three back in 2004 and was sure they had gotten the message and relocated. Now I found myself face-to-face with another one, probably I figured here to exact revenge. I introduced myself to the possum as he began to..well, play possum. He froze after dropping the salt shaker, didn't move a muscle. I backed up to the bathroom, keeping an eye on the critter the whole time and maintaining a running conversation. "Stay ther little buddy, don't go anywhere and I'll take you for a nice ride." In the bathroom I picked up the short trash can, took out the bag and advanced on the creature slowly talking to it the whole time. As I got close I slowly raised the container. I was going to bring it down on top of the possum and then slide a serving tray under it. With lightening quick speed that is the result of years of the best training Uncle Sam has to offer I brought the container down on top of the quarry. it was no contest, one of us never had a chance. As the trash can hit the table the little bastard was already gone, off to the left onto the floor and under the lobster tank. I reacted to his move and swung violently left with the trash can still in hand and ended up sprawled belly down on the floor.

Fortunately for me, the possum was a bit terrified at this point and in his agitated state he stopped to recover. I was up in an instant and used everything available in the dining room to barricade the lobster tank. I stood up, looked triumphantly at what I had done and said loudly to my fast little nemesis; "now youse can't leave."

After getting a flashlight to help to see under and behind the tank I located him under the center of the tank. I went back to the kitchen, and got some plywood pieces that we keep to board up windows when they get broken. Using a broom. I poked and prodded at the hissing beast until it was behind the tank. Then I positioned the plywood so he couldn't get back underneath. I had him cornered in a spot that measured about two feet by 8 inches. The little monster had nowhere to go. Taking a 1" X 3" peice of lumber in one hand and the flashlight in the other I prepared to bash in the brains of the varmint. I shined the light at the little bastard, raised the stick, and..........couldn't do it. I didn't want to kill the rodent. My possum killing days are apparently over.

No matter. He wasn't going anywhere. I called Lee at home and told him to call his exterminator to come and get it. It took an hour for him to get there. He used a glove, arm length with thick metal re-enforced padding to reach in and grab the thing by the tail.

With the new development out back I don't think we'll see any more of the possums.

[ssigmanstinks]

hahahahahahahahaha, some night you had, I thought that story was going somewhere else entirely.

[BtownJay]

LMAO!!!

The Rant would seriously be much worse off without Bil here. Another great and funny story.

And my pussy ass is glad to hear you didn't bash his brains in... i was afraid thats what I was going to read next.

[ssigmanstinks]

agreed Jay, strange thing is that when I thought it was a human intruder I was hoping for a brain smashing dead person type finish, but once it turned and became a critter I also longed for its perceived survival, hehe.

[BaldBil]

Most human intruders, when they do break into the Shanty take off pretty quick. The alarm is very, very loud.

[BtownJay]

Originally Posted by ssigmanstinks

agreed Jay, strange thing is that when I thought it was a human intruder I was hoping for a brain smashing dead person type finish, but once it turned and became a critter I also longed for its perceived survival, hehe.

LMAO! Yep... humans know better. You break in somewhere you don't belong, you get everything coming to you. That critter didn't have a clue.

[BaldBil]

Years ago I would never have hesitated for a second. I used to hunt a lot.