The Jester’s Quart: Wocka, Wocka…What?

[Greg_Wyshynski]

There are now multiple generations that can lay claim to being "The Video Game Generation," including the current crop of teens and preteens that think Al Gore invented the Internet so they can play some unemployed 46-year-old from Milwaukee in ‘Madden 2005’ at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

Who...
Full Article

[Shane]

This may be the best sentence ever written.

Originally Posted by Greg_Wyshynski

Pac-Man turns 25 this month, which makes him one year older than Paris Hilton, another popular cartoon who became famous for swallowing on screen.

I can't believe it's been 25 years. I was so happy to have something besides Pong, Combat, and Asteroids.

Very nice work Greg. Very well done.

[Mike]

Damn i remember reading about or was it watching on TV that there were acutally some video arcades that were 4 floors in Tokoyo and all there was to play was packman! It is a sport and lets start the APL or NPL across the US to bring this back to life...

Yeah Greg this was a great article, The Hilton comment was friggen funny!

[Ishkur]

Oh no, let's not start this debate again.

Mark and myself already wrote articles on the disparaging attribution of the word "sport" to anything that is considered remotely competitive. I still like my reformed 5-point definition:

A sport is that which man must:

Win on his own terms (no judges or external decision-making)
Directly overcome other men to win (nothing turn-based or lane-based)
Win as much as he wants and score as high as he can (no statistical caps)
Win under his own power and control (the only energy involved is his own. No assisted power sources)
Win through his own actions and decisions (nothing luck-based or left entirely up to an element of chance)

[BtownJay]

Originally Posted by Ishkur

I still like my reformed 5-point definition:

A sport is that which man must:

Win on his own terms (no judges or external decision-making)
Directly overcome other men to win (nothing turn-based or lane-based)
Win as much as he wants and score as high as he can (no statistical caps)
Win under his own power and control (the only energy involved is his own. No assisted power sources)
Win through his own actions and decisions (nothing luck-based or left entirely up to an element of chance)

Simply put, you are a retard. I really wonder how you manage to make it through everyday daily life sometimes. You are intitled to your opinion of course, but I value yours the same way I do a person that drewls and bangs their head against the wall while muttering "MAAAAAAAA" all day long.

[Rusty27]

Originally Posted by Ishkur

Win on his own terms (no judges or external decision-making)

Baseball- has umpires-not a sport
Football- has refs,-not a sport
Basketball-has refs-not a sport
Hockey-has refs-not a sport
Olympics-has judges-non or the events are a sport

I think your definition needs some tweaking.

[Ishkur]

Referees do not decide the winner in any of those sports. They don't put the puck in the net or the ball in the hoop, nor do they decide how many points a touchdown is worth or what a team must do to win. They simply arbitrate the rules from a neutral position, and all things being equal what they do is depended upon objective and measurable criteria (meaning everyone can see it; it is the same for everyone). That makes their position far more inferior than the acknowledged "judges" of other sports, who, without consent, explanation or clarification, literally decide everything, and there are no real objective or measurable criteria guiding their rulings.

Man must win on his own terms and the terms of the sport. These terms do not change nor are they altered nor given special consideration depending on the man or the rules. Referees are impartial entities who abide by these rules and are subject to them just as much as the players are. Judges answer to no one.

[Mike]

the fact that i was just trying to point out was that Greg's article was funny and an enjoyable read. Who really cares about the fact that ref's do or do not have a direct outcome on a game.

But the fact is that Ref's do have a direct reflection on the outcome of all sports: Football, Tennis, basketball, etc.. There are plenty of examples that I could state, but you can look them up yourself

[Ishkur]

Can refs have a reflection on the outcome of selective, individual sports games? Yes.

Do refs have a reflection on the outcome of all sports? No. And even if they do, is it intentional? No. Thus, it is not something the players depend on and use as an avenue for achieving victory. Every non-sport banks on "impressing the judges". No one worries about "impressing the referee", because there's nothing to impress. Either you follow the rules or you don't. He is not there to evaluate the productivity of your performance.

And for every example you can list, I can list ten thousand that prove otherwise, including the 65 games or so I've already done this year as a Level 4 Official, Zone 5 Coordinator and Minor Evaluator for the British Columbia Lacrosse Officials Association.

[Shane]

How did you guys do this to a thread about a video game?????

[Greg_Wyshynski]

Originally Posted by Ishkur

Referees do not decide the winner in any of those sports.

First of all, thanks to everyone who enjoyed the piece and found a few chuckles here and there. It's all I want out of life...well, besides a cigar and a icy brew now and again. Oh, and the sex. Can't forget about the sex.

As for Ish's point above...sorry, chief, but the umpire decides the winner or the loser in the majority of baseball games. Balls and strikes aside...how many games have been decided by a tight play at the plate, in which the umpire makes a subjective call based on his own perspective on whether a runner beat the tag? It isn't a cut-and-dry interpretation of the rules -- it's what the umpire feels is the correct call based on the evidence available to him.

I guess if they ever start using replay in plays at the plate and for balls and strikes, then baseball can one day claim its place among real sports like kayaking. Although since you can never tell how big those rapids might get, there's an element of luck involved -- so kayaking isn't a sport, either.

If your point is that "real" sports do not use judges/refs whom the athletes must "impress" in order to score and/or win, then that just completely misses the point of demontration sports. A gymnastics judge isn't looking for the best unitard -- he's using rigid rules and criteria to figure out if the athlete has successfully completely what he or she set out to do. It's no different than a basketball official judging if a player didn't travel, double-dribble or turn the ball over before scoring a basket. A gymnast has to perform to a certain standard, and loses points if he fails to meet that standard in specific ways.

[Ishkur]

Originally Posted by Greg_Wyshynski

how many games have been decided by a tight play at the plate

Statistically speaking, not many.

If the Red Sox score more runs, then the umpires can't award the game to the Yankees. It's as simple as that. They are held to objective criteria.

Originally Posted by Greg_Wyshynski

I guess if they ever start using replay in plays at the plate and for balls and strikes, then baseball can one day claim its place among real sports like kayaking. Although since you can never tell how big those rapids might get, there's an element of luck involved -- so kayaking isn't a sport, either.

kayaking's not a sport, but not for the reasons of there being an element of luck involved (that, while warranted by the sliverest of margins, is uniform across the board and therefore doesn't dictate a victor), but rather for the reasons that the athletes do not directly compete against each other.

Originally Posted by Greg_Wyshynski

If your point is that "real" sports do not use judges/refs whom the athletes must "impress" in order to score and/or win, then that just completely misses the point of demontration sports. A gymnastics judge isn't looking for the best unitard -- he's using rigid rules and criteria to figure out if the athlete has successfully completely what he or she set out to do.

Yeah, there's real rigid, objective criteria in the "artistic impression" score.