And making his way to the podium...

[NICKinDALLAS]

(wild cheering standing ovation as NickinDallas approaches the podium)

"You guys. Really. Come on, stop, really." (The crowd refuses to quiet) (Nick motions for them to re-take their seats).

47min later..

"O.K. guys, really, the world record has been set. Let me get through this." (Reluctantly the crowd regains composure) "Thank you. Thank you all very much. I'd just like to say thank you to a few people. Of course first and foremost I'd like to thank God, Jesus, Yahweh, Buddha, Allah, The Great Spirit, and Confucius.
I'd also like to thank my family (points to the front row where his entire family are simply glowing with joy), I'd like to thank Mike for creating SportsRant(.)com, Avery for coming up with the Point/Counterpoint idea, all of the judges; KP, Pointman, and the aforementioned Avery. I'd also like to thank all of my opponents; Kevin, Jay and Dave and all of the other opponents as well."

(Nick starts to remove his jacket to reveal an undershirt that reads 'Free Katie Holmes')

"Additionaly, thanks need to go out to my legion of fans and supporters. You guys are the best."

(pulls off the Holmes tee to reveal another that reads 'Pro War' to which half the crowd cheers whlist the other half frowns)

"I had an absolute blast during the contest and hope to hold the title for some time. This will be no easy task as there are some great writers out there and now they are gunning for me. Well, bring it on."

(removes Pro tee and is now donning a 'No War' tee and the two halves of the crowd switch reactions)

"Lest I forget I need to thank KRS1, Trech from Naughty by Nature, Biggie, TuPac, Snoop Dog, Dr. Dre, Troy Aikman, Darrell 'Moose' Johnston, Larry Allen, Michael Irvin, Jimmy Johnson, the entire Jones family, and the Cowboy organization, (pulls out a greater Dallas area phone book and starts with the 1st page)

(3 weeks and 102 political tee shirts later)

...and of course Amy Zzakk. Thank you all. Good night!

[Shane]

The important thing is, that none of this went to your head.

[NICKinDALLAS]

like an hov lane on the autobahn?!?

[Shane]

That sounds about right.