The Jester’s Quart: Monday Blight Football

[Greg_Wyshynski]

It’s hard to screw up the NFL these days. It’s like the Teflon league.

Even television networks can’t sully its appeal. They’ve crammed 1,000 commercials into every game—you could knit a sweater in the ad time between the kick-off and the next offensive play from scrimmage. They’ve dumbed down...
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[Shane]

Great article, and I agree. But....

Originally Posted by Greg_Wyshynski

And why do networks keep putting Boomer Esiason behind a microphone? Is someone trying to put NyQuil out of the tranquilizing business?

Have you forgotten Terry Bradshaw SINGING Beatles songs during half-time of the Superbowl in 2002? I still have nightmares.

Lennon is tossing over.

[jtg33]

Terry Bradshaw and Boomer Esiason should be put in a rocket and launched into the sun. I hate BOTH of those morons.

[Ishkur]

I never watched Monday Night Football before Dennis Miller (well...aside from the odd game here or there).

I started watching it religiously when he came on.

I stopped watching Monday Night Football when Dennis Miller left.

Seriously, he was a riot.....if only because everything he said not only flew over the heads of every stereotypical knuckle-dragging fratfuck meathead playing fantasy football at home, but also the other guys in the booth. After he'd make a whimsical comment, there'd be like dead silence for about 5 seconds, and then Michaels and Fouts would try to get back to the action. It was AWESOME. I never laughed so hard in my life.

Here's a perfect example I remember: two teams were playing (I can't remember which two), and the defensive tackle beats his man and has a clear line of sight to the QB. When he's just about two yards away, QB sees him, then pumps-fakes a pass to the tight-end about ten yards behind him. The tackle actually stops and throws his arms in the air, thinking pass-block. That buys the QB some time, he rolls out in the other direction and finds a receiver on the other side of the field for a first down.

But it was funny that the tackle, so close he could breathe on the QB, stop and try to prevent the pass. The guys giggled about it, and then Dennis Miller says "Oh man...that was like Hannibal coming over the 7th hill deciding to turn his elephants around and going home."

I fell out of my seat laughing. My brother who was with me (rock-listening, jeans-wearing, pickup truck-driving, pro wresting-loving, beer-drinking straight and narrow cliche of a 21st century mainstream heterosexual male) goes "what the fuck did that mean? What the hell are you laughing at?"

I'm like "I'll tell you at half time. Too long to explain."

Comedy gold, I tells ya. The NFL needs Dennis Miller, but people are too stupid to realize it. I think there's still a site around here that recorded every single MNF broadcast, and broke down, word for word, the etymology, allusion, euphemism and origin of every one of Dennis Miller's comments. It was great. I think he compared Ronnie Lott to Attila the Hun once.