1RST DATES

[burnabymack]

WHITE WOMEN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.


ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on
a 3 carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.


IRISH WOMEN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.


JEWISH WOMEN:

First Date: You get dynamite head.

Second Date: You! get more great head.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.


ASIAN WOMEN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner, nothing
happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've
already realized nothing is going to happen.


EAST INDIAN WOMEN:

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.


BLACK WOMEN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone else.


MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date: You buy her a cheap dinner, get drunk on Tequila,have sex in the back of her car.

Second Date: She's pregnant.

Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her
father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend
and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for
the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like it belongs somewhere in the desert along the Rio Grande, with chickens and goats in the front yard



GOD ......DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN .. ?

Or in my case, don't you just love being an Irish woman? Haha, that shit was hilarious.

Advice to my fellow Irish ladies: never buy booze, that's what men are for. You're worth it!

[Blakey_Blue]

hehe, I'm not a pure bred irish girl...but i'll back you up on the advice, haha...never, ever buy what he'll buy for you

[ssigman]

typical

Originally Posted by ssigman

typical

Men provide the booze, and women may in turn provide the sex! Don't say that this age old system has never worked to your advantage...

[ssigman]

well i hear dolphins fans have no taste so its real easy to bag one...no alcohol necessary....

[jtg33]

Originally Posted by TheDolphinsMakeMeCry

Men provide the booze, and women may in turn provide the sex! Don't say that this age old system has never worked to your advantage...

Or women will just take the drink and ignore the man and continue talking to their friends as though they had just bought the drink themselves, never offeirng more of a thanks then just a slight wave of about three fingers and a small smile.

That's why I don't drink. I can't get to the point where I'd be stupid enough to spend money on a woman I don't know, Irish or not.

Originally Posted by ssigman

well i hear dolphins fans have no taste so its real easy to bag one...no alcohol necessary....

Lol. No, Dolphins fans are more like those battered women that you see on fucking Oprah or something who remains in an abusive relationship because "things will get better". At least that's what it feels like every Sunday.

And if what you say is really true, then come to Miami! You might actually stand a chance with one of the women here.

[CadaverFE]

You forgot Russian women on the list:

1st Date: you exchange email addresses

2nd Date: you give her your name and address

3rd Date: she arrives at nearest port, you take her to Chili's, she rocks your world

4th Date: marriage at the JotP

[ssigman]

i don't want those pigs who root for the dolphins...1. they like a team that couldn't beat northwest southern medothist university college for the dumb, deaf, blind and retarded
2. they all have the clap
3. they will get smacked by the jets this upcoming sunday

Originally Posted by TheDolphinsMakeMeCry

Lol. No, Dolphins fans are more like those battered women that you see on fucking Oprah or something who remains in an abusive relationship because "things will get better". At least that's what it feels like every Sunday.

And if what you say is really true, then come to Miami! You might actually stand a chance with one of the women here.

[SatanHimself]

So was this list supposed to be funny or informative?

Because it was neither.

[ssigman]

no it was meant to annoy the ugly......i guess it worked