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![[img]](http://www.sportsrant.com/forums/vbmynews/viewthu.php?id=190504-744762) Once again, my travels have taken me to the Midwest, which seems to breed every kind of moron there is. This time, my subject is Mike Danton, of the St. Louis Blues, who in a pill and alcohol driven frenzy, hired a hit man to whack his agent. Oh…..allegedly.
Me: Welcome Mike, and thank you for joining me. Would you care for something to drink before we get started?
Mike: I’ll take a vodka martini, without the martini. And a few Ludes.
Me: Umm, I was referring to water, so ok, here we go.
Mike: Where are we going?
Me: Yeah. So, it is my understanding, that you have had a dependency problem for a while. Would you care to share any information about that?
Mike: Well, one day I was on the toilet, and I was having one of those really satisfying bowel movements. You know the kind, where you grunt, and groan. You may have to close your eyes, and suddenly, I saw stars. And from these stars came the cutest little fat people. They were dancing around, and telling me what to do. I knew I might be in trouble. Lets face it, if you are on the john, and you start seeing little dancing fat people, it’s time for some serious Thorazine. So I got some pills to help me deal with that.
Me: Wow. That is an awful lot to take at once. What happened to you after that?
Mike: Everyone was against me. My agent was trying to have me killed.
Me: What makes you think that?
Mike: The little fat people told me.
Me: I see. How many pills a day were you taking?
Mike: About 20.
Me: 20 pills per day??
Mike: Oh, I thought you said per hour.
Me: What kind of pills?
Mike: Little yellow ones.
Me: Alrighty then. So you are saying that little invisible fat people were talking to you, and your agent, David Frost, was trying to have you killed.
Mike: That is correct.
Me: I guess what confuses me then is that you have been arrested for hiring someone to kill Mr Frost, because he was going to reveal your addictions to the St Louis Blues organization.
Mike: Oh no. They have it backwards. I’m not really under arrest. They are protecting me from him is all.
Me: Well, if that is what you tell yourself. I thank you for your time Mike, something that you have plenty of now.
Mike: Will I see you again?
Me: I’ll see you in 25 to life. Maybe on “The Weakest Link” or “Celebrity Boxing”. GUARD!!
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