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Three things in baseball I can do without, Yankee fans, $7 Dixie cups of Old Milwaukee, and quotes such as this, "Ninety feet between the bases is the nearest thing to perfection that man has yet achieved." - Red Smith, sportswriter
This exemplifies the exact criticism that has dogged sportswriters for ages, that they are about 200 pounds of b.s. stuffed in a 150-pound casing. Psuedo-poets like this look to add meaning to their absurd existence by making outlandish claims about the game they cover. They seemingly refuse to accept the fact that they are not changing the world nor adding new perspectives on life as journalists.
As an aspiring sportswriter, I make it a rule of thumb to never take anything seriously that involves sweaty men, physical contact, and grunting. That is why the only notable quote from my columns would be a reference to Eric Montross as “Big Cracker Flatop.”
Other sports aside, the history and nostalgia of the national pastime makes it ripe for crap such as this quote from author Francis Trevelyan, "Baseball is democracy in action: In it all men are 'free and equal,' regardless of race, nationality, or creed. Every man is given the rightful opportunity to rise to the top on his own merits . . . It is the fullest expression of freedom of speech, freedom of press, and freedom of assembly in our national life."
First of all, Baseball is not “democracy in action.” It is capitalism in action. Just ask the fans in Tampa Bay, Milwaukee, and Kansas City. Going on, I suspect that any of Marge Schott’s “million-dollar n*****s” did not feel like “free and equal” men. Finally, as far as “freedom of assembly” goes, those who have ventured into the ballpark with a family of four will tell you that there is nothing free about major league baseball.
Now, I can very much get caught up in all the emotion and symbolism of the national pastime as it is portrayed in Ken Burns’ Baseball documentary, but that is before I realize that when it was simply a game, it was marred by racism, ownership abuses, and gambling issues.
This may be sacrilegious for me to say, but my beloved Fenway Park is very much representative of this. Sure, the Red Sox are among the most storied franchises in baseball history, but the Curse of the Bambino as justification for 86 years of failure is simply fraudulent sugarcoating. Insightful Boston sports journalist Steve Buckley put it best when he said, “My standard line is the Red Sox haven’t won because of racism, alcoholism, cronyism.”
In fact, the Red Sox had a chance to sign Jackie Robinson in 1945 and Willie Mays in 1949. They opted not to sign Mays because, as NPR Morning Edition’s Juan Williams reported, "one of the team's scouts decided that it wasn't worth waiting through a stretch of rainy weather to scout any black player.” That is why, for more ironic reasons, when Hall of Famer Tom Seaver states that "Fenway is the essence of baseball,” I agree.
But, I suppose when it comes to those Yankee fans that annoy the hell out of me, I relent and take some small comfort in the words of conservative windbag George Will. "It comes back to why the ballparks matter to us -- because exactly comparable people played a comparable game in this ballpark for generation after generation." And those comparable Yankee fans will also have to pay $7 for watered down beer. Perhaps they can use it to wash down the b.s.
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